@fire7side said:
The trouble when someone tries to find a couple type of love is there is a lot of selfishness in it. There doesn't have to be, but there usually is. Like, about a year ago, this guy in the middle east threw acid in this girls face that rejected his overtures. That's just desire, which ends up being selfish. A lot of the worst parts of humanity stem off it. Like Amber Heard or whatever her name is and Johnny Depp. That sounds like hell. Rich beyond anyone's dreams and living like that. I just read bits and pieces but that was enough. No thank you. I'll stay poor and single.
This touches on an good point that is completely underrated these days, so I'm going to try to fortify it. If we can accept that love is an emotion or desire, then we have to accept that love isn't necessarily merit-worthy; claiming other would be an appeal to emotion fallacy. Also, notice how we don't see other emotions or desires as being necessarily merit-worthy. Even other positive emotions/desires aren't seen as being necessary merit-worthy, as such emotion/desires can be considered negative in certain context. For example, most people wouldn't consider the joy and happiness that stem from sadism as being merit-worthy. Therefore, we should at least be able to accept that love isn't necessarily merit-worthy and can be bad in some context. In other words, if love is an emotion/desire, we should at least entertain the idea that there is such a thing as bad love as much as there is such a thing as good love.
The only way love can necessarily be merit-worthy is if it was by definition, merit-worthy and there are two ways that can happen. Love can be merit-worthy by an arbitrary definition that makes the concept of being "merit-worthy" seem like it's not merit-worthy. The other way love can be by-definition merit-worthy, if it involves treating people in a way that we do actually consider to be merit-worthy under every circumstances. However, notice how we're gradually moving away from love as an emotion/desire and towards love as creed; that being a set of beliefs or aims which guide someone's actions?
Even though I'm not the most religious person there is, there is a great verse in the Bible that expresses a creed-like love in 1 Corinthians 13:4; it says:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Still, there is no denying that everyone doesn't share the same idea of what constitutes love; so I'm caution when I hear that word sometimes.